Itaewon Class – 이태원 클라쓰 – 박새로이
How I saw a mirror in Park Sae Royi that made me find my true self again.
I can feel it now…Things are moving. A lot is happening – calmly. The universe – my world as I know it, is changing. It is getting ready for me. My journey suddenly feels like it is moving forward, towards something bigger, something more meaningful, bigger than what I had perceived life’s goals to be.
Every kdrama I have been watching – has been adding its influences to my thoughts. But right now, as I watch Itaewon Class, just a few episodes in – I am overwhelmed. I have been trying to find me – myself, who am I for the last few years. Everything I knew, crashed around me in 2017. It kept crashing every time I tried to stand up. With each downfall, I gained a new friend who chose to pick me up and stay by my side. My family went from pitying me to not understanding me to now slowly, respecting me.
Mom said something yesterday that made me immensely happy. Accenture approached me with a job – a dream company – an ideal career route, in these difficult times something any smart person would take up. But I have recently joined my professor in his business start-up and he promised to teach me everything from scratch and hired me cause he saw the potential. We did not even have a proper interview – we did not even meet. He just trusted his instincts with me. When I told mom, Accenture wants to discuss a job opportunity – she amazed me with her response.
She said – it is a company that anyone would be proud to be a part of, you will have a good job, good name, good pay, HR policies will be better. But, you will live in guilt if you leave your current boss who trusted you blindly and hired you for. You are not that kind of person I know. You’d rather live without guilt than have a dream job and not be happy for a single moment.
I was a bit taken aback and responded – You know I can’t fall in my own eyes – If I fall in my own eyes then anyone else’s opinion doesn’t matter. That is not how I can live. She asked me where did I learn such big words! We shared a moment there, of mutual respect. She seemed to be taken aback a bit now – maybe even a little proud even though she hates my guts. I was touched that my mother thought of me high enough.
I realised then – living the life I want with my own set of principles no matter what the consequences were starting to be worth it after all. I was beginning to get validation from people that mattered the most. Who always thought I was foolish to be so righteous, helpful and altruistic.
Park Saeroyi entered my life like a storm, stood in front of me like a mirror and showed me that I can continue on this path. Park Saeroyi gives me the strength to keep going, he makes me want to be stronger, better and do more, give more, find more. I am learning to fix my life again through him. I see myself in him – what I can be. My lost identity.
Fight for my beliefs and stick to them no matter what. Have a goal and work in silence making your moves in the shadows. Be there for those you care about without wanting them to be there for you, have friends who don’t feel tied to you. Get up each time you fall. Harder the fall, higher the rise. Don’t let anything faze you. If your plan gets changed, it is only a detour. Don’t start changing your goals find another way, but the goal remains the same.
I am beginning to ask the right questions to myself. I still don’t have all the answers. But I am beginning to feel it. The strength in me is rising. I will not allow myself to break again like before. I will not give that power to anyone again. I will love myself enough to not be needy for love again. Those that will remain in my life will choose to stay, I won’t have to make them or beg them to stay. They will stay because they want to.
I will take care of myself better. I will fall in love with myself all over again As I write these words, with V – Taehyung singing the Sweet Night in his soulful voice, my heart reverberates with his intensity and sincerity and passion. BTS started the inevitable change in me. The rise began from them. Now, Park Saeroyi takes them forward.
I found my haven in the land and people and the creative work of South Korean Entertainment Industry. It is calling me. I have never felt a place calling me like this – not even my childhood dream destinations of NY or Japan. Not even Galapagos. SK is very special to me now. One day I will set foot on this piece of land that holds a sweet promise. That I will find myself here. I will be right at the centre of this industry and it will put me at the centre of the world stage – and I will have the influence and power to touch and change lives, something I always wanted but never said out loud.
Those who are crazy enough to think they can change the world usually do. Steve Jobs
I am physically weak right now. I need to fix that. I need to prioritise my goals and achieve them all.
I will achieve every dream I have! Because I can! Only I can!
D. 🌹